Where everything isn't meant to be okay...

People!!  They are so gosh-damn annoying!

As I repeatedly say, I consider myself a laid back person.  I generally go with the flow, I like to have fun, don't really get angry and I rarely get embarrassed.  I've noticed one instance when I do get embarrassed.  It embarrasses me one someone is having a temper tantrum.

For example, I was with a group of ladies the other night (which is bad in general).  We all went to dinner and immediately one of the girls was making me uncomfortable because she kept snapping and demanding the waiter to do this and that.  I just stared at the girl in disbelief and kept on drinking my beer.  Then at the end of the dinner one of the other girls got so incredibly crazy with the waiter that I was truly embarrassed.  The waiter was bringing back our payments and he misplaced the girls debit card.  She asked where hers was.  He looked confused and said "I'm not sure, let me check."  She exploded, pointed at him and told him to "find my fucking card now!"  Then as he walked away she jumped up and chased after him to curse some more.

Holy shit!

Sure, there is some justification to being annoyed that he misplaced her card but geez, girl, there are other ways to communicate without coming off as a....cunt!  I don't know why people think the only way to get their point across is to be an asshole about it.  Some say I'm just too nice....sooooo.  I think I'd rather be considered "too nice" than be labeled a bitch.  Plus, I don't think anyone is beneath me and I don't like talking down to anyone.  If someone upsets me, I will communicate to them rationally as I can unless I feel disrespected.  Then my tone will change.

Just calm down people.  Anger just makes people look ridiculous and ugly.

Blow up the bitch with the firecracker smile...

I'm back!

Another attempt at this whole blogging fiasco. I've never really been good at it. My thoughts are always so scattered. I think it's the ADD.

Hmmm...I sit here and ponder what the heck to even blog about. I'm not one to just pour my inner self out for the world to see. Why make myself vulnerable? I ask that about anyone who blogs. Care to give me an answer? Perhaps I want people out there to know exactly what I'm talking when I'm talking about it. The "I know whatcha mean" response. Do I just want attention? Like I've never heard that question before. That question is what made me lock up any ounce of emotion from escaping my twisted mind. The first time I remember crying, pouring my heart out and truly feeling in front of someone, they questioned my motives. Hmmm...I may have thought of myself as a pretty good actor but I wasn't doing it for any other reason other than feeling sadness.

I suppose I'm going this route again because at some point in my life I'm going to have to get much of this....this...chaos? out of my head. Is a blog a way to go? We shall see. Therapy would probably be better but I have no interest in speaking to someone face to face. I've done well over my lifetime reading people's expressions and body language to know...


 Dang...I wrote this many, many months ago. I really have no idea where I was going with this blog. It's a good start for what's to come of my emotional roller coaster. When I get into these "funks" the only thing I can think to do is get it out. I'm not much for therapy or mind altering medications.


 This is my therapy.